Author Archive for Meg

I never expected to be one to NOT pray, to not spend time with Jesus on a regular basis, to “fall off the wagon” so to speak. . . and it’s happened! But His grace IS SO sufficient for me, in my weaknesses. And I KNOW that no matter what, He is for me, He delights in me, and His affection is FOR me. He is NOT angry with me because I failed to spend time with Him in awhile.
The balance to keep the prayerful life while your “life” is in an uproar, I can attest to that in recent events.
I lost my job
I moved out of my house (an amazing ministry house with a bunch of women)
I moved into my parents home (something I dreaded)
I’m completely broke (unemployment is not happening due to the circumstances of loosing my job)
I am living in what seems like the middle of nowhere
I do not have community at my finger tips
I am utterly alone

One would think that in all that I would have CLUNG to Jesus with all that I am, but I did the exact opposite. I RAN in the other direction and tried to satisfy my brokenness through other means. The purpose of this blog is to talk about living the lifestyle of prayer in a busy world and I feel like I have not been living up to that at all. I feel completely broken, and weak, my world is in an uproar. Everything I thought is not as it is, and I have no idea of what’s going to happen next. I need a breakthrough.

“A life of consecration always comes before a life of love, and a satisfying experience always comes after an act of consecration.” – Watchman Nee

Currently I have made the decision to step into a season of consecration, it was a hard decision mostly because it was waging war against my flesh but I knew the Lord was calling me to come out and be set a part from my current lifestyle, situation, circumstance, etc. It took almost a month to finally make the  decision but I am seeing how it was the best decision I could have made for myself, and honestly it was the Lord that really made that decision. I just obeyed. I was sharing with my roommates and some friends that through this consecration I am ACTIVELY pursuing singleness. I know that sounds strange, and completely the opposite of what is “normal” because here I am at age 27 still single and now I have chosen to pursue the single lifestyle for an entire year. Basically the Lord and I decided this was the best thing for me because, well, first of all – He has a lot for me still, and He’s not ready to give me up yet. Second of all, I have been marriage minded since I can remember, and it’s time I lay that idol down and really let the Lord take hold of that part of my life.

Awhile ago I felt the Lord speaking to me about marriage and I believe it was He that spoke, but I took hold of that quickly and had such a strong hold on it, I don’t know if I was still really listening to what the Lord was doing – having said all that, it just made my life way more complicated the past two years. So now all that changed, I am pursuing holiness and sanctification above all else. I want to be all that I am, and be fully known by the Lord. I hope that through this journey I will learn what it means to be fully known and to fully know God.

There have been some extremely painful moments, and also some sweet moments, and granted its only been two weeks, but I look at it and think, wow two weeks. Some moments it feels like yesterday I made the decision and some moments I feel like I’ve been on this path FOREVER. Two weeks, fifty to go. I’m mostly excited to see what week 23 looks like, and week 40. I am expecting much revelation from the Lord, and also the opportunity to practice my own spiritual gifts that the Lord has given me.

I don’t really know if any of this is making any sense because I’m just rambling. But I am excited to bring you along with me on this journey. I actually have been documenting it on my own personal blog here for those of you interested. I blog about my journey daily. I hope to keep doing it throughout the whole year.

Know that you are loved by a jealous God, and He will have His way.

I guess I should introduce myself and give a little background of who I am, since I will be writing about my life and hopefully there will be many that read our little blog.

I decided that I was meant to live a lifestyle of prayer while I was out in Kansas City in 2005. I was lying in bed in the hotel I was staying at for the Onething Conference and I was wrestling with my heart and my brain. My heart was being tugged in this new and foreign territory called a lifestyle of prayer that was all very new to me, but had awakened my heart like NEVER before and then living just a normal regular Christian life, and as I was lying there I heard the voice of the Lord very loud and very clear tell me; “The time is now!” well that did it for me, I was sold. I knew I had to pack my bags and move halfway across the country to live and breathe a life of prayer. I had no idea what I was getting into, but it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. I met Jesus in a new way that I thought I could never have, I have this intimate relationship with Him that I never thought possible. He KNOWS me, I KNOW Him. He LOVES me, I LOVE Him, really truly. I know that deep in my core, deep in the center of my being, I know this truth and it has rooted me and grounded me and has been what has kept me going now that I am not in that community. I was in Kansas City for almost two years when I really felt Him leading me back to Buffalo. Well, I came back kicking and screaming, but long story short, I knew it was where God wanted me to be. There is a generation of young people in this area that NEED to know this truth, and they NEED to have it written upon their hearts… in such a way that they will be sold out to the Kingdom, and to loving Jesus and giving Him everything that they have. I know it’s what I want. So doing this in the world has proven difficult, after I moved back home to Buffalo I found this little group here and I loved them instantly, but life became boring, and doing the whole prayer and fasting thing got mundane and I wanted excitement. So I strayed for awhile, doing all sorts of other ministry things that were not bad in any way, shape, or form, but just not what my heart really longs to do, so again, long story short, I ended up right back where I started and I am so glad I did, and I was received with such love and affection from these wonderful people that I knew its what I was made to do.

Currently I am working full-time with infants, and also will be going back to school to pursue my master’s in early childhood education and also getting certified to teach birth-2^nd grade. I know God has it in His heart to raise up a house of prayer in this region, I don’t know how it will look, or how I will be involved, but it’s slowly turning out completely different than I expected, and I am ok with that. This is a good journey, and I have a company of people that have the same heart as I do, so I wouldn’t trade it for the world. So that’s a little about Meg, more will come as you all will see. Bless you!

- Meg