Fotbwny's Blog » Melissa http://blog.fotbwny.org Living a Lifestyle of Prayer in a busy world Sun, 20 Jun 2010 02:43:20 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Preparing the way… http://blog.fotbwny.org/2010/01/18/preparing-the-way/ http://blog.fotbwny.org/2010/01/18/preparing-the-way/#comments Mon, 18 Jan 2010 17:44:08 +0000 Melissa http://blog.fotbwny.org/?p=96 I am currently nearing the end of my pregnancy with my second child and despite the fact that I’m generally exhausted after taking care of the absolute basics of family life, I have this overwhelming drive to nest and prepare everything for the baby that is coming soon.
This morning, I’ve been thinking about how this instinct has the power to keep me going when I’d normally (and probably should) be resting. The fun and frustrating aspect of this whole nesting deal is that it is quite often an urgency that I alone feel. When I come up against an obstacle to completing a specific task, it’s easy for others to say, “Relax, we’ve got time to get that taken care of”. And everything inside of me screams, “No! We need to do it now because time is short!”
Having had one baby already, I know that once that little one arrives you’re pretty much involved in their care 24/7 and whatever stage you were at in preparation is what you generally live with.
As I ponder this, I am reminded of the urgency that I am meant to carry of the arrival/return of Jesus Christ. I so often give in to the “Relax, there’s plenty of time” mentality when in fact I need to have the same -if not greater- drive to be fully prepared when He arrives.
Just as I am all of a sudden aware of every bit of dust or clutter in the house, I should be acutely aware of the state of my heart and what “little foxes” are distracting me from full communion and partnership with Jesus.
Whatever measure of oil – reality and intimacy in relationship with God(Matt. 25) – I have when things get dark before His appearing is what I have to carry me through to seeing His face.

So, my prayer in this season is this: “God, give me wisdom to know what is absolutely necessary in preparing for this baby so I don’t over do it, AND give me more hunger and urgency to prepare a place for You in my heart, my home, my city, and my nation. Help me to stick to the task of preparing the way for You even though others might say it’s a waste of time, energy, etc.
And May You find Faith, Love and a dwelling place here in my heart upon your return.” Amen.

]]> http://blog.fotbwny.org/2010/01/18/preparing-the-way/feed/ 1 Awakened again http://blog.fotbwny.org/2009/12/08/awakened-again/ http://blog.fotbwny.org/2009/12/08/awakened-again/#comments Wed, 09 Dec 2009 02:29:27 +0000 Melissa http://blog.fotbwny.org/?p=86 I’m so thankful that the Lord doesn’t seem to pay much attention to the “do not disturb” sign I sometimes hang on my heart. He is so faithful to gently stir my heart when it becomes a little numb or too out of touch, and even yank on the leash when I’m really getting away from the path He’s laid out for me.
I am quite prone to growing cold and numb on the inside – mostly from a lack of time and energy given to seeking the very One I say is the only one who sustains my heart.
Several years back I had the very uncomfortable revelation that the blazing, sold out love I thought I had for Him was really pitifully weak and wandering. Since then, I have asked Him to hold on to me in His love and grace and to keep me, keep my heart and the flame of love He has lit there from going out.
I was blown away today when listening to an account of how a 15 yr. old girl ‘s declaration of love for Jesus helped ignite the Welsh revival many, many years ago. She simply stood up in a meeting and said ,”I love Jesus, with all of my heart!” What a simple, yet powerful confession. I long to be one who loves the Lord with my whole heart, mind, strength and soul from now into the eternal ages. I so desire that He would find faith, and love, and a resting place in my heart when He looks upon me. I desire to be one with whom He truly dwells.
Oh that my love for this Beautiful and Glorious God-man would be further awakened that I would find ways to be where I know He’s going to be. That nothing else would even begin to compete for time with Him in His incredibly life-giving Presence. Oh that He would further blur the lines between the mundane and the holy. Come Jesus, awaken my heart again.

]]> http://blog.fotbwny.org/2009/12/08/awakened-again/feed/ 1 Believing… the “work” of the Kingdom http://blog.fotbwny.org/2009/10/29/believing-the-work-of-the-kingdom/ http://blog.fotbwny.org/2009/10/29/believing-the-work-of-the-kingdom/#comments Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:39:06 +0000 Melissa http://blog.fotbwny.org/?p=62 Lately I find that if I go through one busy day without getting some input from the Word of God I’m just tossed about by everything that’s going on in my little world. I am coming back to the realization that my spiritual man really does “live by the Word of God”. There is NO substitute for the living truth of the Word of God – whether in written form or the fresh word that He speaks when I quiet myself and tune in to what He is saying to my heart in a particular moment. I believe that setting my heart before Him and His Word is an integral part of my prayer life. If I hear His word, then I am more likely to believe it. Hearing His word over me washes my heart like no other person’s words can and shields it with the faith that comes by hearing as I go through my day. I believe that if I make Him my refuge I will be kept in the day of shaking and uncertainty. I believe He is faithful and for me. Simply believing and walking that belief out in the way I carry my heart in this season is doing the work of the kingdom and changing the atmosphere around me. Nice. I can give myself to that in the midst of the mundane.

]]> http://blog.fotbwny.org/2009/10/29/believing-the-work-of-the-kingdom/feed/ 1 A pilgrimage http://blog.fotbwny.org/2009/09/20/a-pilgrimage/ http://blog.fotbwny.org/2009/09/20/a-pilgrimage/#comments Mon, 21 Sep 2009 01:09:25 +0000 Melissa http://blog.fotbwny.org/?p=32 My journey in prayer has had its ups and downs as I suppose everyone’s does.

I remember connecting with the Presence or Person of God in a very simple way throughout my childhood and teenage yrs. It would often happen as I looked up into a beautiful blue sky, marveled at a mountain top view or sat with the Word open before me. I’d find myself knowing that God was there and would begin singing little songs that just seemed to drop into my heart. I recall feeling the pleasure or smile of the Lord upon me during these times as early as age 8. Communion with God was simple and joyful. As I drew near to Him, He drew near to me.

As I grew older – and therefore busier – these times of communion became fewer and farther between. The Lord would faithfully invite me to come aside in His still, small ways, but I found there were many distractions that ate at my time and I had to make more of a conscious choice to quiet my heart and turn my thoughts toward Him in prayer.

In  2001, I attended an internship at a house of prayer in Kansas City and was suddenly thrown into a full-time lifestyle of worship, prayer and teaching on intercession. It was one of the wisest things I’ve done in my life but it was also an intense period of wrestling with mindsets I’d previously had as well as anything else that rose to the surface as I brought my cold, weak heart before the fire of God on a daily basis. It was all my heart had longed for but before long I found myself looking at others and how they “did prayer” or communed with God and began comparing myself to them. In the midst of rich teaching on the great saints and intercessors of old, I started to get confused about how exactly I should commune with God and for a while was very disillusioned with all of the terminology and 8 step methods to communion that seemed to be out there. My personality is one that wants to get it right the first time, so it was frustrating to find that what “worked” for one heart was not working for me. One thing that encouraged me through this time was a friend who shared from her own experience in prayer that whether she felt God’s Presence and was moved to tears, or sat in dry, barren silence the whole time, the reality was that God was there and that it counted that she had given of her time to be before Him. He had written the day in His book and the ball was in His court, so to speak. We just needed to be faithful with our part.

One day while struggling to enter in or really connect with God, I remembered how easy things had been when I was younger and it was like a light went on in my heart. “Wait a minute! I know how to commune with God! I draw near to Him and He draws near to me! I go for a walk and He reveals Himself in the beauty of nature. I turn my radio off when I’m driving and talk to Him.” It was a reminder of how He had trained my heart in the past and I realized then that I had gotten away from the simplicity of what it looked like for me to spend time with Jesus. Paul wrote of this to the Corinthians in 2 Cor. 11:3 “But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”

I’d like to say that I’ve been rock solid in my prayer life ever since, but it’s been a constant learning curve as life has brought more responsibility and opportunity for distraction with the blessings of marriage and children. I’ve found that it’s very easy for me to compartmentalize my spiritual life and my practical life over the past few years and I am constantly coming back to the truth that He is with me and wants to speak and encounter my heart in the midst of the mundane.

I’m thankful that this journey in prayer is just that: a pilgrimage.  I don’t have to walk it alone and it’s as simple as reaching out to hold the hand of the One who’s walked this road before me as I sing my simple song of love.

- Melissa

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