a season of consecration

Published by Meg on November 17, 2009 in Weekly.

“A life of consecration always comes before a life of love, and a satisfying experience always comes after an act of consecration.” – Watchman Nee

Currently I have made the decision to step into a season of consecration, it was a hard decision mostly because it was waging war against my flesh but I knew the Lord was calling me to come out and be set a part from my current lifestyle, situation, circumstance, etc. It took almost a month to finally make the  decision but I am seeing how it was the best decision I could have made for myself, and honestly it was the Lord that really made that decision. I just obeyed. I was sharing with my roommates and some friends that through this consecration I am ACTIVELY pursuing singleness. I know that sounds strange, and completely the opposite of what is “normal” because here I am at age 27 still single and now I have chosen to pursue the single lifestyle for an entire year. Basically the Lord and I decided this was the best thing for me because, well, first of all – He has a lot for me still, and He’s not ready to give me up yet. Second of all, I have been marriage minded since I can remember, and it’s time I lay that idol down and really let the Lord take hold of that part of my life.

Awhile ago I felt the Lord speaking to me about marriage and I believe it was He that spoke, but I took hold of that quickly and had such a strong hold on it, I don’t know if I was still really listening to what the Lord was doing – having said all that, it just made my life way more complicated the past two years. So now all that changed, I am pursuing holiness and sanctification above all else. I want to be all that I am, and be fully known by the Lord. I hope that through this journey I will learn what it means to be fully known and to fully know God.

There have been some extremely painful moments, and also some sweet moments, and granted its only been two weeks, but I look at it and think, wow two weeks. Some moments it feels like yesterday I made the decision and some moments I feel like I’ve been on this path FOREVER. Two weeks, fifty to go. I’m mostly excited to see what week 23 looks like, and week 40. I am expecting much revelation from the Lord, and also the opportunity to practice my own spiritual gifts that the Lord has given me.

I don’t really know if any of this is making any sense because I’m just rambling. But I am excited to bring you along with me on this journey. I actually have been documenting it on my own personal blog here for those of you interested. I blog about my journey daily. I hope to keep doing it throughout the whole year.

Know that you are loved by a jealous God, and He will have His way.

1 Comment

Temptation

Published by Kevin on November 14, 2009 in Weekly.

This weekend I’ve been reading Acts 8:1-8.

This verse in particular has caught my attention (v1), ” At that time a great persecution arose against the church which was at Jerusalem; and they were all scattered throughout the regions of Judea and Samaria,”

I’ve been bombarded with the real temptations to get caught up in the busy life that surrounds me. I work a 9-5 job, Monday to Friday, that I feel God placed me 8 years ago.  I have 4 kids, and my wife.  I have the dirty diaper changes, the breakfast to make when the wife needs to sleep in (b/c our newborn kept her up the night before, and yes, I do make breakfast at other times as well), the homeschooling to help with, the house to clean with the kids, the kids to play with, the car’s oil to change, the computer just crashed so I have to fix it, the wood to stack (we heat our home with wood(, and then there’s the FOTB prayer that we’re involved in.  It certainly takes a measure of discipline to keep my eyes fixed on the simple and steady things that God’s word calls us to walk through.  The temptation to let a busy life sweep me away is something that I face – I know my wife feels the same way.

As I consider the verse above, I can’t imagine having a major hub being displaced in such a dramatic fashion.  I look around the world today, knowing of some major missions centers, but none can compare to the beginnings of something like what was had in Jerusalem. I think of how much calamity must have been taking place around those people who were followers of Christ.  Some were most likely newbies, others may have been followers for some time, and then the others were the apostles.

I think of the real threats that people in that day had to live with.  Here, in my life, I concern myself with things like: knowing Jesus, food, shelter, and health for my wife and kids.  These just don’t seem as imminent a threat as what may have existed in those days of Jerusalem.

I wonder about the fathers and mothers of that day.  There are those parents who took a chance to believe what was spoken of Jesus and now were being persecuted because of their beliefs.  They must have been concerned for the safety of their children.  There must have been some inner questioning of their choice to believe the words of Jesus.  The fathers and mothers had to keep things together enough to move these families out into Judea and Samaria.  I think things like, “Where did they go?  How did they make the choice about where to flee?”

There is truly much to the story that we may not know.  There must be personal stories of great things that God did in their midst during this time.  There must have been families who moved together with other families, and this built a sense of community, fellowship, and accountability.  There certainly was worship and prayer involved.  This is what keeps me encouraged.  God knows us enough to place us within a community of believers who will encourage us towards the best things (Matt 22:37).  In this context we will struggle through the hard and challenging stuff together.  We will have people to pray for us and to pray with us.  At our FOTB prayer times, there are men who are sitting there, elbow-to-elbow, praying together with me because they see that it’s the best thing for them to do for their families and for their life in God.  There are mothers there who have chosen that time as sacred for the purpose of agreeing with God and His Word.  If you have a chance, come pray with us on a Friday night.

On Friday nights, as I sit there with this group, I am constantly reminded by the Holy Spirit of Acts 6:4-5, and the call to that kind of lifestyle of prayer; that kind of intimate friendship with God.  Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like the longer I know Christ, the more I depend on Him.  There’s comfort in knowing that I can continue to trust Him; in knowing that the Father is good (Ps 25:6-11), and He desires for me to know Him.  Lord, awaken our hearts!


0 Comments

Does Jesus Ever Enjoy Potty Humor?

Published by Dalene on November 1, 2009 in Weekly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. The scriptures really don’t give much detail at all about Jesus’ life growing up with His siblings and friends, but we do know He had a typical childhood. He had to learn how to walk, talk, & be potty-trained just like the rest of us humans. After all, He is fully God but also fully man. So, I guess maybe I’m wondering if the typical child 2000 years ago in Jewish culture liked potty humor? Let me explain where I’m going with this…

I think most kids today, especially boys, really enjoy potty humor. I hear about it from other parents of young ones, read about it online & in email newsletters, etc. Most boys go through it around 3 or 4, so I read, but my little one has really enjoyed it all along. His first word at 6 months old was not Mama or Dada, but “poo”. At the end of singing his ABCs, he says, “…next time won’t you sing with poopie?!” He loves the reaction & the attention. He thinks it’s hilarious & I have to admit, sometimes the silly potty-related things he says are pretty funny. Maybe I’m immature, or maybe just light-hearted; let’s assume the latter. :) However, I was conflicted when he first began saying his “poopie” prayers.

Each night we try to wind down (which takes quite a while!) by putting on pjs, brushing teeth, reading a couple books, & then sometimes a verbally-told story as well. We finish up with our good night prayer. Some of you may know it: Now I lay me / Down to sleep / I pray the Lord / My soul to keep / Keep me safe / All through the night / & guide me ’til / The morning light. We then add additional prayers for healing for various people, the poor, the church, ourselves, some thanks, & close with “In Jesus’ name, I love you, Amen”. John repeats after me line by line. He’s gotten some of it memorized by now & if I say something in a different order he’ll correct me (as if it were wrong) or if I forget something or someone he reminds me. Sometimes he’ll even add something! But, several months ago when he repeated each line, he began adding the word “poopie” into it! So it instead sounds more like: Now I poopie lay me / Down to poopie sleep / I pray the poopie Lord / My soul to poopie keep, etc. My husband & I couldn’t believe when he first did it; he didn’t miss a line! I was shocked & didn’t know what to do. My husband laughed hysterically until he couldn’t breathe (maybe it’s a guy-thing?). This has gone on every night ever since!

I told a few other young adults & was told I should stop him from saying it. He needs to understand a respect & healthy fear of the Lord. Prayers are powerful & shouldn’t be taken too lightly. Others, like my parents, laughed & said something along the lines of, “what a kid”. At first I was torn! What do I do?! Let my child be goofy during prayers or insist that he needs to say them the proper way? (Actually, is there a proper way?)

Well, I’ve so far decided to let it be. He’s 2. If I insist he not use the word “poopie” during prayers, he may just use it all the more (with his personality & twinkle in his eye I’m almost positive that would happen!). & I wondered, what would Jesus have said, while He physically walked the earth, if one of the children who came to Him said something similar? The Jesus I think I know, would laugh right along. I can almost imagine Him giggling & shaking His head, just happy that John is having fun while saying prayers & learning how to speak with his God. Here’s what Jesus said, as written in Mark 10: 13-16 (NIV):

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have Him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, He was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And He took the children in His arms, put His hands on them and blessed them.

Therefore, I decided to continue leading him in the prayer my way (i.e.: I don’t say “poopie”), but let John respond how he wants. So, prayers are still poopie for now.

Think about the young kids you know & how they approach God. They don’t go before him worrying about paying bills or getting a better job. They don’t have issues, judgments, or bitterness about their past, their present, or their perceived pessimistic future. They don’t pretend to be someone they’re not. What do they do? They simply run up to Him, jump into His arms & get comfy, ready to listen to a great story told by a strong, gentle voice. They’re silly & they just act how they feel & say what they’re thinking. They’re real. Maybe we should all begin approaching Jesus with such realness?

What do you think? How would you respond? Any similar stories to share?

1 Comment

Believing… the “work” of the Kingdom

Published by Melissa on October 29, 2009 in Weekly.

Lately I find that if I go through one busy day without getting some input from the Word of God I’m just tossed about by everything that’s going on in my little world. I am coming back to the realization that my spiritual man really does “live by the Word of God”. There is NO substitute for the living truth of the Word of God – whether in written form or the fresh word that He speaks when I quiet myself and tune in to what He is saying to my heart in a particular moment. I believe that setting my heart before Him and His Word is an integral part of my prayer life. If I hear His word, then I am more likely to believe it. Hearing His word over me washes my heart like no other person’s words can and shields it with the faith that comes by hearing as I go through my day. I believe that if I make Him my refuge I will be kept in the day of shaking and uncertainty. I believe He is faithful and for me. Simply believing and walking that belief out in the way I carry my heart in this season is doing the work of the kingdom and changing the atmosphere around me. Nice. I can give myself to that in the midst of the mundane.

1 Comment

Escape!

Published by Meg on October 28, 2009 in Weekly.

So I was suppose to post something a few weeks ago, and I failed. It’s funny how our little blog is about living the fasted lifestyle in the busy world because that has been my life lately. Completely hectic and busy. I moved, my roommate got married, and I’m stepping into a new season of my life living in community with other women. We found a fantastic house down in the elmwood village. We are completely surrounded by college kids and I love it, and the opportunity we will have to love the lost, broken, and needy down here. I’ve been running into interesting people just about every day.

I have to admit that my prayer life is lacking due to the busy hectic schedule that has been my life lately. But I am seeing the need to escape to the secret place and have some time with Jesus, and I want it.

So I have nothing profound to say, other than I love Him, and He has been so constant and so faithful to me even when I stray.

0 Comments

Pray Without Ceasing

Published by brad on October 19, 2009 in Weekly.

I find that the struggle to live a life of prayer in my busy, 9-5 life is a bit of a paradox.  And that kind of doesn’t surprise me, because most of the ways of the Kingdom of God seem to be be this way.  Here’s what I find ironic:  I believe that the easiest way to live a life of prayer in a busy world is to live out one of the hardest commands to fulfill, which is to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess.5:17).

It can be so easy for me to think that a life of prayer only looks like “quiet time”, or “contemplative prayer”…extended periods of prayer in solitude.  While I know that there is no substitute for those sessions of long and loving meditation, I’m also learning (slowly but surely) that prayer can occur all day, every day.  It is when I learn to converse with God through the little moments each day that I find myself living a life that more closely resembles the prayer-centered life that I long to live.

Someone once told me that life can be broken down into 30-second segments.  It is in those little snapshots of life that I find it’s easy to build momentum moving towards God, or from Him.  Those 30-second windows are perfect opportunities to offer up little phrases of love and thanksgiving…these are the very prayers that make Jesus say “…you have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes” (SOS 4:9).  I also find that these are the moments when satan loves to tempt and distract.  It’s so easy to “check out” in these moments.  But I have also found that my heart makes it through the day with a much bigger “skip in it’s step” when I take these moments to love and adore the One who loved me more thoroughly than any earthly love.

I encourage you, in those slow moments today between work and family and phone calls and whatever else you do, take a breath and gaze with the eyes of your heart on the One whose eyes are forever fixed on you.  Give Him a little “I love You”, and I know that you’ll start to feel that weak little prayer overcome His heart.  And this type of prayer, in these little 30-second windows, is the doorway to praying without ceasing.

0 Comments

The discovery of friendship

Published by Kevin on October 7, 2009 in Weekly.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately on friendship with God.  In this friendship with Him, God has opened my eyes to things around me that I had not noticed in the past.  He is truly a great and committed friend.

As I consider friendship, I also think of other relationships in my life that I am thankful for – my best friend is my wife; my children are truly a blessing to spend time with; the FOTBWNY crew is a great group of die-hards who love to pray, worship, and love Jesus; and there are also the friends we have at church (Niagara Falls Vineyard).  I really enjoy these relationships that God has placed in my life.  I am more and more thankful for the ups and downs that I’ve encountered with all the friends who are in my life right now.  If forgiveness were a muscle, I’d say we’ve all had quite a workout during the time we’ve grown to know each other as friends.

In January 1998, my life was given brand new meaning.  That year is when I had a significant encounter with Jesus.  I felt ready to begin life anew  and ready to learn more about this mysterious Trinity – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  I think we were near a place called Thunder Rock in Alleghany State Park (if I remember correctly).  This was day two of our weekend retreat .  There was several of us from a UB campus ministry group that wanted to know God more, so we did the extreme – we went on a weekend retreat to spend time away from everything else, and to dedicate time with God.  We had time for bible study, prayer for each other, and fun time by the campfire.  We also did something I didn’t expect – we went for a walk out in the woods to focus our attention on God.  That’s when it happened for me.  The Holy Spirit met me out there in the woods.  On my knees crying my eyes out,  I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence in an amazingly tangible way.

Dreams. Visions. Prophecy. Prayer. Fasting.  I couldn’t get enough information about these topics after this retreat; after that encounter with the Holy Spirit.  I had to know more about this Holy Spirit who came and turned me inside out.  I had to know more about this Jesus who loved me so much.  I had to know who this kind and gentle Father is in heaven.  I dove into ANY and EVERY book I could find on these topics  and I continually found myself returning to the Bible and to the simplicity of prayer.  Much of that time period is a blur for me because there was so much good and bad that happened during the learning process (that’s where forgiveness has taken place).

One thing remains vivid on my heart during that time period – my intimate friendship with Jesus.  When I looked for Him, He was there.  I could find Him in the highs and in the lows.  He was always with me, guiding me and cheering me on as I stumbled and fumbled my way forward.

Today, more than ten years later, here I sit with my children getting ready for bed…  all of them have some likeness of me.  I enjoy being with these four little ones that God has given my wife and I.  I enjoy seeing how they have such a simple devotion to mom and dad, and the simple yet rich depth to the relationships we are building with each other individually and as a family.  God has used these little ones so many times to reveal something of who HE IS to me, and something of who I am to Him.  Many times these revelations are about how I’m made in His likeness, and how He has such an enjoyment with MY baby steps in my life with Him and with my family.  He is the smiling happy God who loves to watch me grow.

Malachi 4:5-6 says, “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.  And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.”

How humbling it is that such a Mysterious, Holy, Majestic, and Beautiful God desires such simple, yet rich, depth to my friendship with Him.  He is truly committed to each one of us beyond what we could imagine.  He is drawing my heart to Him and to my children as I continue to wonder at his Beauty and Mystery.  My prayer is that fathers in FOTBWNY and fathers in the churches in this area would set their hearts and minds on the Triune God, and position themselves to pursue the knowledge of Him (Prov 2:1-9).  The time is at hand for us to “go deep” in the things of God.

- Kevin

3 Comments

Teaching the Next Generation to Pray

Published by Dalene on September 26, 2009 in Weekly.

Sometimes I wonder how in the world I will teach my children to pray when I’m feeling so weak at it myself.

I let worldly distractions, well, distract me. I get tired. I have something else to do with a deadline. I forget. I don’t know what to say. One million reasons exist for not praying some days. Praise God He loves us & sees us as lovely no matter how dark we are feeling or acting. (Song of Songs 1:5 & 6)

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” ~Aristotle

Well, Mr. Aristotle, please tell me: how do I make my life a habitual song of praise & adoration to my Lord? How can I keep my spirit in constant communion with the One I love?

A little on my prayer history (so you know where I’m coming from):

One of my parents was raised Catholic & the other Lutheran, but neither really committed to their churches, & when they had us, decided not to attend or baptize us (I’m the oldest of 4 children) in either church, but instead to teach us what they knew about God. My parents told us the stories of the Bible they remembered learning, some prayers they had memorized, & also to pray whenever life warranted it (healing for a boo-boo or someone sick, financial problems, etc.). We prayed the standard before dinner & before bed. They also watched biblical movies with us & I accepted Jesus as my Savior during the crucifixion scene in “Jesus of Nazareth” when I was about 8 yrs old or so. I know that a church community is important, but I love my parents for doing what they felt was right for our family. All 4 of us now-adult children are Bible-believing Christians today.

The first time I felt the Holy Spirit I didn’t know I was encountering Him because I wasn’t even praying. I was about 15 yrs old & it was summer vacation so I was up late, maybe 4 or 5 a.m., playing Nintendo’s “Dr. Mario” in my brothers’ room. I used to play for hours at a time. I didn’t hang out with friends at the mall or talk on the phone. I was either reading, with my family, or playing puzzle games. Listening to Bryan Adams’ song “Heaven”, I thought about God & suddenly was overcome with His Spirit. I didn’t know what I was feeling, but I cried as I listened to the lyrics & felt God was singing it to me. My body played the game but I paid absolutely no attention to how amazingly I was winning. I could not explain it the next morning, but now I know Jesus was singing a love song to my heart & claiming me for His own.

When I went to college at a local university, in a weird twist, which I know was divine appointment, my dad & I met a campus minister. I joined that ministry in spring 1998 & met one of the other writers of this blog, Kevin. I never thought I would learn so much more about life outside the classroom rather than inside the university’s large, lecture halls. I’ve been really learning about a relationship with God ever since. I didn’t know we could hear God speaking to us in various ways until that spring of ’98 & was amazed when I first heard His beautiful whisper, “Follow Him. Give to Him”. I chose to get baptized & was flooded with dreams, learning about how God speaks to us all in the ways He chooses.

Eleven yrs later & many times I’m puzzled by His mysteries…I’m still learning that I need to make prayer more like a dialogue & less like me reading a list of to-dos to my Lord. Once in a while I get it right & walk away from the encounter with our conversation written (so I don’t forget), with His instructions & encouragement for me. Most days unfortunately, I don’t have this encounter. My heart longs for more of those purposeful, prophetic encounters when He dares to share a secret or 2 with me.

And so, now that I’m married, & a mom of an incredible 2 yr old son (yes, I know, I’m biased!) & 6 months pregnant with my second child, I have been trying to figure out how to teach my children to pray. In my blog posts, this is exactly what I’ll be discussing. The ups & downs, what works & what doesn’t (at least for us), my frustrations & “my successes” (meaning those wondrous times when my son surprises & teaches me, & I didn’t really do anything at all!)

My heart breaks for the little ones. Knowledge of their abuse &/or neglect is painful for me. I have grand ideas of how to change the world, if only I could, but in the meantime I’m starting at home. In order to make a real difference & teach the next generation to pray, I’m starting with my own little piece of it. It may be a drop in the bucket, but drops make ripples…

I’ll leave you with some Mr. Rodgers, because he got a lot of stuff right:
“Childhood is not just clowns and balloons. In fact, childhood goes to the very heart of who we all become.”

~Dalene

0 Comments

A pilgrimage

Published by Melissa on September 20, 2009 in Weekly.

My journey in prayer has had its ups and downs as I suppose everyone’s does.

I remember connecting with the Presence or Person of God in a very simple way throughout my childhood and teenage yrs. It would often happen as I looked up into a beautiful blue sky, marveled at a mountain top view or sat with the Word open before me. I’d find myself knowing that God was there and would begin singing little songs that just seemed to drop into my heart. I recall feeling the pleasure or smile of the Lord upon me during these times as early as age 8. Communion with God was simple and joyful. As I drew near to Him, He drew near to me.

As I grew older – and therefore busier – these times of communion became fewer and farther between. The Lord would faithfully invite me to come aside in His still, small ways, but I found there were many distractions that ate at my time and I had to make more of a conscious choice to quiet my heart and turn my thoughts toward Him in prayer.

In  2001, I attended an internship at a house of prayer in Kansas City and was suddenly thrown into a full-time lifestyle of worship, prayer and teaching on intercession. It was one of the wisest things I’ve done in my life but it was also an intense period of wrestling with mindsets I’d previously had as well as anything else that rose to the surface as I brought my cold, weak heart before the fire of God on a daily basis. It was all my heart had longed for but before long I found myself looking at others and how they “did prayer” or communed with God and began comparing myself to them. In the midst of rich teaching on the great saints and intercessors of old, I started to get confused about how exactly I should commune with God and for a while was very disillusioned with all of the terminology and 8 step methods to communion that seemed to be out there. My personality is one that wants to get it right the first time, so it was frustrating to find that what “worked” for one heart was not working for me. One thing that encouraged me through this time was a friend who shared from her own experience in prayer that whether she felt God’s Presence and was moved to tears, or sat in dry, barren silence the whole time, the reality was that God was there and that it counted that she had given of her time to be before Him. He had written the day in His book and the ball was in His court, so to speak. We just needed to be faithful with our part.

One day while struggling to enter in or really connect with God, I remembered how easy things had been when I was younger and it was like a light went on in my heart. “Wait a minute! I know how to commune with God! I draw near to Him and He draws near to me! I go for a walk and He reveals Himself in the beauty of nature. I turn my radio off when I’m driving and talk to Him.” It was a reminder of how He had trained my heart in the past and I realized then that I had gotten away from the simplicity of what it looked like for me to spend time with Jesus. Paul wrote of this to the Corinthians in 2 Cor. 11:3 “But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”

I’d like to say that I’ve been rock solid in my prayer life ever since, but it’s been a constant learning curve as life has brought more responsibility and opportunity for distraction with the blessings of marriage and children. I’ve found that it’s very easy for me to compartmentalize my spiritual life and my practical life over the past few years and I am constantly coming back to the truth that He is with me and wants to speak and encounter my heart in the midst of the mundane.

I’m thankful that this journey in prayer is just that: a pilgrimage.  I don’t have to walk it alone and it’s as simple as reaching out to hold the hand of the One who’s walked this road before me as I sing my simple song of love.

- Melissa

2 Comments

Leaving the greenhouse

Published by brad on September 13, 2009 in Weekly.

My journey in a life of prayer has definitely had it’s ups and downs.  I spent 2 years in a “greenhouse” of prayer, where my job was actually to pray.  I was employed as an intercessory missionary at IHOP-KC, and I absolutely loved it.  In retrospect, prayer was easy.  Though I walked through difficult seasons in those 2 years as I said “yes” to God’s process of changing and healing me, it was definitely “easy.”  To be surrounded by hundreds of other weaklings like myself who were all choosing to press in to God in prayer with their lives, was the biggest encouragement I could imagine to receive.  It was easy to stir myself up and press in again, because everyone around me was doing it too.

Then I left the greenhouse.  I moved home to Canada, got married, and locked in to a 9-5 job.  I suddenly had a job that didn’t make me pray, I had a lot less free time to myself than I had when I was single, and I was no longer surrounded by a few hundred people who were pressing in hard.  This has formed the context of my journey into a life of prayer in the 9-5 world.  The big question is: “how do I pick myself up, shake off the dust, and press in again day after day?  How do I keep moving forward with a life of prayer, now that I’m out of the greenhouse?”

I learned a paradigm-shifting truth over my first weekend in “the greenhouse”, which was ironically 8 years ago this week.  This truth has been my greatest source of encouragement as I run my race (which has felt more like dragging a cart through mud on most days).  I looked at prayer in the context of an incomplete view of Luke 18:1-8.  The first 5 verses are the parable of the widow who persistently nagged and bugged the unrighteous judge for justice in her plea, and he eventually gave in to her because that annoying persistence.  The problem is, I stopped at verse 5.  I thought that prayer was just me asking God for something until I finally wore Him down and He gave me my request.  The problem with this paradigm is that it leaves you feeling like a nuisance.  It actually made me feel almost like God’s adversary; that I had to wrestle Him into releasing something that He didn’t really want to give.  That’s no way to foster a life of prayer.  I don’t know about you, but if I get the feeling that somebody’s annoyed with me, I tend to look for friendship somewhere else.

So that first weekend, I took a class entitled “Bridal Intercession.”  The lesson I learned was centered in the story of Esther.  What I had never considered in Esther’s story is that when she approached the king with her request, she was also approaching the one who was greatly in love with her.  If you recall, the king had asked for all the beautiful, single women of the land (which was impressively expansive) to take a full year to make themselves beautiful, and then present themselves to him.  He picked Esther.  He loved her more than all the other women.  So the big lesson I learned was that God, the Judge, the One who hears my prayers, is madly in love with me.  When Esther approached the king, she had not seen him for a full month.  Even though I go through dry seasons where I lag in my commitment to prayer, I can have confidence that He still loves me.  My favourite verse from the Song of Solomon is: “O my dove…let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely” (SOS 2:14).  No matter where I’m at, or how far I’ve been away, He is still captured by one glance of my eyes.  He loves it each and every time I turn to Him.  And I have found that if I can remind myself of this fact, in the face of all the condemnation and guilt I feel for falling short and choosing worthless, fleeting things instead of communion with the One who loves me, then I can easily get back to living a lifestyle of prayer.  I don’t know about you, but if I get the feeling that somebody’s REALLY happy to see me, I tend to spend as much time with them as I can.  I’m a real sucker for love and acceptance.

So I encourage you to fight to remind yourself of this fact:  that God is deeply in love with you, and that He actually moves at the sound of your voice.  Even if you feel condemned over a lack of pursuit, it’s okay!  He gets it!  Jesus walked in our shoes, He knows the weakness of our flesh and the temptations we face.  And just like the father of the prodigal son, He runs to us when we turn to Him again.  We take 1 step, He takes 10.  So if you keep falling off the bandwagon (like me), take heart:  He still REALLY likes you, and He still wants to hear your voice and see your face in the secret place.

- Brad

2 Comments