Fotbwny's Blog

My journey in a life of prayer has definitely had it’s ups and downs.  I spent 2 years in a “greenhouse” of prayer, where my job was actually to pray.  I was employed as an intercessory missionary at IHOP-KC, and I absolutely loved it.  In retrospect, prayer was easy.  Though I walked through difficult seasons in those 2 years as I said “yes” to God’s process of changing and healing me, it was definitely “easy.”  To be surrounded by hundreds of other weaklings like myself who were all choosing to press in to God in prayer with their lives, was the biggest encouragement I could imagine to receive.  It was easy to stir myself up and press in again, because everyone around me was doing it too.

Then I left the greenhouse.  I moved home to Canada, got married, and locked in to a 9-5 job.  I suddenly had a job that didn’t make me pray, I had a lot less free time to myself than I had when I was single, and I was no longer surrounded by a few hundred people who were pressing in hard.  This has formed the context of my journey into a life of prayer in the 9-5 world.  The big question is: “how do I pick myself up, shake off the dust, and press in again day after day?  How do I keep moving forward with a life of prayer, now that I’m out of the greenhouse?”

I learned a paradigm-shifting truth over my first weekend in “the greenhouse”, which was ironically 8 years ago this week.  This truth has been my greatest source of encouragement as I run my race (which has felt more like dragging a cart through mud on most days).  I looked at prayer in the context of an incomplete view of Luke 18:1-8.  The first 5 verses are the parable of the widow who persistently nagged and bugged the unrighteous judge for justice in her plea, and he eventually gave in to her because that annoying persistence.  The problem is, I stopped at verse 5.  I thought that prayer was just me asking God for something until I finally wore Him down and He gave me my request.  The problem with this paradigm is that it leaves you feeling like a nuisance.  It actually made me feel almost like God’s adversary; that I had to wrestle Him into releasing something that He didn’t really want to give.  That’s no way to foster a life of prayer.  I don’t know about you, but if I get the feeling that somebody’s annoyed with me, I tend to look for friendship somewhere else.

So that first weekend, I took a class entitled “Bridal Intercession.”  The lesson I learned was centered in the story of Esther.  What I had never considered in Esther’s story is that when she approached the king with her request, she was also approaching the one who was greatly in love with her.  If you recall, the king had asked for all the beautiful, single women of the land (which was impressively expansive) to take a full year to make themselves beautiful, and then present themselves to him.  He picked Esther.  He loved her more than all the other women.  So the big lesson I learned was that God, the Judge, the One who hears my prayers, is madly in love with me.  When Esther approached the king, she had not seen him for a full month.  Even though I go through dry seasons where I lag in my commitment to prayer, I can have confidence that He still loves me.  My favourite verse from the Song of Solomon is: “O my dove…let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely” (SOS 2:14).  No matter where I’m at, or how far I’ve been away, He is still captured by one glance of my eyes.  He loves it each and every time I turn to Him.  And I have found that if I can remind myself of this fact, in the face of all the condemnation and guilt I feel for falling short and choosing worthless, fleeting things instead of communion with the One who loves me, then I can easily get back to living a lifestyle of prayer.  I don’t know about you, but if I get the feeling that somebody’s REALLY happy to see me, I tend to spend as much time with them as I can.  I’m a real sucker for love and acceptance.

So I encourage you to fight to remind yourself of this fact:  that God is deeply in love with you, and that He actually moves at the sound of your voice.  Even if you feel condemned over a lack of pursuit, it’s okay!  He gets it!  Jesus walked in our shoes, He knows the weakness of our flesh and the temptations we face.  And just like the father of the prodigal son, He runs to us when we turn to Him again.  We take 1 step, He takes 10.  So if you keep falling off the bandwagon (like me), take heart:  He still REALLY likes you, and He still wants to hear your voice and see your face in the secret place.

- Brad

First, welcome to this blog.  We will be posting something new at least once a week.  I hope you return to take a look at what’s going on with us, and hopefully it will be a source of encouragement to you as you seek to define what it means to live out a lifestyle of prayer.  Please feel free to leave comments to any of our blog posts.  I hope these posts will entice some good discussion on prayer and any related topics.

There are going to be a few contributors to this blog, which will hopefully give us some good perspective on different experiences that our group, fotbwny, is having in this journey we call a lifestyle of prayer.  Being a father of 4, and a full-time worker at a local non-profit organization, I can say that a lifestyle of prayer certainly isn’t what I thought it would look like when I started.  I suppose that’s part of the discovery in our relationship with God – to figure out the particulars.  I remember being a new, Spirit-filled Christian, and thinking that I would be a full-time intercessor who spoke God’s Word to those who needed to hear it.  In my mind, the picture was that I would be living in a secluded place all by myself, with a torn-up old bible in one hand, and some grasshoppers for supper in the other hand.  I imagined that this call to prayer was going to have me fasting for days, even months, on end and being taken somewhere on the other side of the earth where I would speak with angels and maybe even the Lord Himself!

Little did I know that God’s plan for my life included a much easier road, physically (not such extreme fasting), and a very fulfilling relationship with my family (I’m not secluded in some hut all alone).    In those early days of not knowing as much, I planned that I would be able to recite much (if not all) of the Bible and know what big events would come to the world ahead of time.  It’s funny how lofty my goals were.  My heart was certainly there, but I had some growing up to do.

As I read through the New Testament, I am continually reminded at how much effort Jesus put to focus on the 12 guys around Him.   He spent much time building those relationships and nurturing their spirits through personal teaching.   It seems to me that if I spent time with Jesus alongside the 12, there would be a good sense of comradery and depth to the friendships that I’d have with Jesus and those twelve disciples.  It seemed like this was something that was built and it took effort to sustain it.   I’m encouraged that Jesus chose this close friendship to be the foundation on which to introduce Himself; there were many miracles performed, there was the truth of God being taught, and there were many eyes being opened – spiritually.

Lately our group has been focusing on healing.  We’ve all felt the Holy Spirit speaking to us individually about praying for healing.  Unfortunately, we have noticed an increase in the friends and family around us who are suffering from various ailments.  We are determined to continue asking God for an outpouring of healing on our loved ones.   What’s really great is that I’m part of a community of friends who feel the same sense of urgency for justice.   We are being roused to fight for those close to us.  God is using this as an opportunity to show us His heart for people in this region.  S0 we’re learning this on a small scale as we pray for our loved ones, and it gives us insight as we petition God to release healing on a bigger scale (Western New York and Southern Ontario).  I’m humbled that God would bring together a group of individuals who desire to see the greater works being released in this generation.  We may not see large crowds gathering with us lakeside, or be called to feed five thousand with a few loaves and fishes, but we do have the blessing of God knitting our hearts together as we pursue the knowledge of Him.  I think we’re realizing that effectiveness in prayer isn’t about counting the numbers who are praying beside you.  Instead, it’s about seeing that our hearts and minds are aligning with the God of the Bible, the Infinite and Beautiful One who beckons us to come discover who He is – and agree with what He desires to do in prayer.   Thus, we press in to pray for the release of what He’s promised in His Word, and He’s faithfully releasing understanding on our hearts and minds about His ways.  We sometimes even see people healed.

I desire to see this generation commit to prayer like never before – for the sake of God’s kindgom being released on this region.  More than this, I desire that this generation would come to a deeper, and continual, revelation of this man Jesus Christ – in whom we have eternal life  (John 17:3, Eph 3:14-21)  So, Lord Come!  Yes, even to Southern Ontario,  even to Western New York.  We know you love us.

- Kevin